It Will Be Different
by lonnii renae
Summary: A president in charge. A president a part of B613. A president with a past. A president seeing a therapist. A president in love. A president considering divorce. Love is hard. Especially when the love of your life is not the person youre married to. But being the president also makes it worse. HEAVILY AU! Huge twist in the first chapter


"I have always been an inquisitive person, even as a child. Always looking around, asking questions. I had to know how everything was made. How it all worked. Especially people. I had to know what made people react the way they did. What made them tick. I found some information in an old tattered book that my Mom had on her bookshelf. The cover and first couple of pages were missing but I must have read that book at least 12 times in two years.

I didn't find out what I reading and studying until...until my Mom passed away. It Psychology of Humans. That was the name of the book.

Anyway, she died on a Tuesday. Her funeral was that Friday. I was attending my first boarding school by the following Monday. Within a weeks time, I lost my Mom, buried her and moved halfway across the damn world to attend boarding school. Dad didn't waste any time. He doesn't believe in sitting around and not doing anything. But I guess you know that already." She paused to compose herself.

"He had these sayings, my dad. 'There is always something to do Olivia.' He would say when there was really nothing to do. If it was a problem that was causing some type of trouble he would tell me, 'Fix it, Olivia. Handle it, Olivia. You fight until the end, Olivia. We are never out of options, Olivia.'

My first year at St. Anne's, was the worse year of my life. I didn't talk for 7 months, 2 weeks and six days. Everyone thought I was a serial killer. Little old me. Me and my 86 pound frame was capable of snuffing out the entire fourth floor in the girls dorm.

My first words at St. Anne's was 'No, I didn't kill her' in response to when everyone found out my Mom was dead. My classmates teased me relentlessly for the rest of the year. When summer break came around, I went Honduras with my nanny. Meeka was her name. She was my best friend...she was my only friend.

Two weeks into my vacation, the Dean called my father. I wasn't invited back there. I caused too much trouble. Too much uproar he said. The situation only got worse when my end of the year report card finally got around to him. I had a D in Financial Statistics class. He flew out to meet me and Meeka. I was so excited to see him. I hadn't seen him since the day before I flew out to St. Anne's. He sent Meeka away, then pulled me by my arm into the dining area. Dad was so mad at me.

"What is your problem? How hard can it be? I'm trying to provide the best for you. I go, all around the world digging in dirt to provide for you. I diminish my true potential so you can have a better chance in this world. I don't know HOW MANY times I've told you. You are at a disadvantage. You have two strikes against you already. You are black and a woman. You are seen as nothing but a piece of dark arm candy to those who matter in this world. And good luck to even get the chance to be seen on the arm of them. You are the secret arm candy. The candy that they don't want anyone to know they eat but divulge in it anyway. You are disposable.

You brought me a D? A damn D? You aren't even average anymore. You can't even skirt your way though the group anymore. You aren't even mediocre. You are below average. You're below everyone! And if you keep these D's up, you won't even be arm candy. All you'll ever be is under them in bed only." He spat.

"I'm sorry Dad."

"I'm sure you are Olivia. But I'm sorry won't keep them from looking at you as weak. Im sorry won't keep them... If you even want to make a dent in this world you have to be..."

"Twice as good." Olivia mumbled.

"To get?" Her Dad eased her on.

"Half of what they have."

"Half! If they stay up half the night to get an A in Financial Statistics, then you have to..."

"Stay up all night."

"Well at least you know how to solve a basic ratio. You're vacation is over. I hope you enjoyed your two weeks out here. I was able to find another school that would take you. You have summer classes when you get in. We'll try year around classes. Maybe those will work better for you. Oh, and let's try to actual make decent grades. Do you know the amount of trouble I had to go through to get that D off you're record?" He sighed in exhaustion.

She came out of her haze fog dream. "And he walked away. That vacation was the last time I saw Meeka. I tried finding her once I got older but I couldn't. It was like she vanished off the face of this earth."

"Why did you share all of this with me?"

"Im in love with a man who is not mine. He is married. He has kids. I am the President of the United States and I, even being the most powerful women on the earth, still can not escape my Daddy issues. I love a man who is unavailable. I loved my Dad who was unavailable. I love my mom who was unavailable. I loved my nanny who was unavailable. I am seriously in love with a man who is not my husband and I don't know what to do. I have a history of loving people who are unavailable. Help me stop loving him."

"Madame President, you can't help who you love."

"Tell that to Edison and Mellie, Dr. Ballard."

"I've noticed you didn't mention the American people. Do you not care about the people who voted for you? The people who believe in you?"

"Doctor, he...is the love of my life. I can't function without him...I can't live without him. He completes me in the most epic and absolute way. He understands me. He knows about my past. He knows about my Daddy issues. He knows about my panic attacks. He knows about my self ha- He knows all of me and despite all of that he loves me still."

"Edison does as well. He knows about your past and he loves you."

"He isn't Fitz. He isn't my unicorn." She whispered back in pain.

"How long as it been since you had a panic attack?" Dr. Ballard asked.

"A little over two months. Those breathing techniques really helped. Thank you."

"Any other...episodes you want to report?" Dr. Ballard questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"No. None." She whispered playing with her hands.

"Hmm. Interesting response." Dr. Ballard scribbled notes with a frown. He was slightly disappointed in her but he wouldn't voice that just yet. Today was a big breakthrough. She opened up about her past. About her love for Fitz. This was a start. For the past 8 sessions, they danced around the fact and the reason of why she was here.

They stare each other down. One daring the other to expel their true thoughts. Dr. Ballard smiles eventually then looks at the clock, "Looks as though our time is up."

"Looks as though it is. Dr. Ballard." Olivia stands, reaching her hand out for a handshake.

"Madame President." He firmly shakes her hand, "Same time, next week?

"I'll see."

Olivia slips her white trench coat over her red dress. She slips her pumps back on and offers a smile. "Thank you."

She stands by the door, small and broken inwardly. She slowly regains her composure. And before Dr. Ballard's very eyes, the President creeps back into the room. Olivia transforms into the loving, gentle, lioness vulture that the world has come to know and love.

She steps out the door and closes it. Tom, her Secret Service Agent, follows into step with her as she asks if Edison knows she is missing yet. Tom shakes his head no with a smirk.

"Let's just say, he is preoccupied with Harrison."

"What in the world has my Chief of Staff done with him?" Olivia chuckles.

"He is covering last-minute details of the gala, Ma'am." Tom answered with a smirk.

"Is it that time of year, Tom?" Olivia groans.

"Yes it is. Let me be the first to say, Happy Birthday Madame President."

"Thank you, Tom."

They step into the receiving area of the back lobby where Kim, the receptionist is sitting. The back lobby allows high-profile people such as herself ways in and out of the building without drawing attention to it. Kim smiles adding, "Thank you for visiting Wonderland Madame President, have a great day."

"You too Kim." Olivia offers a smile before walking out the lobby behind Tom. She really should tell Huck his wife now worked for the every company that shut him out of the real world. Away from his family.


End file.
